You all know that Annabelle, the girl you call Posie, has passed away due to serious heart problems. Now I, her close friend and cousin, Amanda, came here to inform you of her passing. She had a lot of friends on here, and she told me personally that when she died, I was to tell you guys. I'm only here by her request, and after this journal, I am gone for good. Those of you who don't know Annabelle, you don't need red this little biography I put together. I combined my knowledge with that of her brother's, and her mom's. Here goes what I wrote! (can't you tell I want to be an author?)

♥ Early years ♥

Even since Annabelle was born, she was tiny. She weighed like 2 pounds and 6 ounces when she was born prematurely. As a preschooler, she was noticeably smaller then the other kids. At age 6, she was the size of a four year old. But she didn't care. And at that time, no one knew she had heart problems. It was when she was six years old,


((WILL FINISH LATER))

((HERE IS SOME MORE! Sorry I had soccer and then team dinner.))

It was when she was six years old that everyone found out--the hard way. You see, the town Annabelle grew up in was very rural, wide open, beautiful. Perfect for cross-country. So they started cross-country, or as they called it, hillbilly track, at young ages. When she was six, Annabelle joined the preconditioning team for 6-8 year-olds. She always struggled a bit to keep up with the other kids, and she breathed harder then all of them. But after they all completed their first mile, everyone knew something was wrong with Annabelle. Her hands were tinted blue, and so were her lips. She was breathing really really hard. She fainted. Her mom came, and the coach suspected it was severe asthema. Her mom called the doctor, who said Annabelle needed an appointment pronto. At the appointment, the doctor ruled out asthema right away, just by listening to Annabelle's heart. She heard a heart murmur. She sent Annabelle for an echocardiogram and an EKG. Both of them showed that clearly Annabelle was suffering from heart failure. They put her on medication right away, although at that point it wasn't very clear what caused her to have heart failure. But it was lucky that Annabelle joined that crosscountry for little tykes, or maybe it would have taken longer for her to be diagnosed. She could have died much sooner. Now our family saw it was a blessing in disguise.

The medicines seemed to help. She went to frequent cardiologist appointments, being a good little girl for every long, tedious echocardiogram she was ever sent for. She was still always so small, though. When I had just turned 5 and she was about 7 and a half, we were the same size. She was even a few pounds lighter. We could share clothes. Then, when I was 7, Annabelle hadn't really grown at all. I started being able to hand clothes down to her. It was odd.

♥ Tougher Times ♥

As Annabelle got older, she struggled more with her heart problems. And her self-confidence. Not only was she so much smaller then the other kids in her grade, but when she was 10, she was the only mixed-race child in her class. Her mom told me that kids would tower over her and chant, "CHINESE, JAPANESE, DIRTY KNEES, LOOK AT THESE!" And shove Annabelle into the mud and make her get all dirty. Plus, they always left her out. Girls set up "clubs" and told Annabelle that she couldn't join until she could wear limited too clothes. Annabelle was still too little to wear them, while the other girls could. And as a sixth grader, some of her classmates were already wearing hollister, while Annabelle had just barely started fitting in limited too. Annabelle didn't feel like she could keep up with them. But dispite all that, Annabelle was still such a happy girl. We would have monthly sleepovers. She was always so cheerful and fun to be around. Talented, too. She could draw amazingly. And she could sing. She never sang for anyone, but once I caught her singing something in Chinese or Japanese or some foreign language that I couldn't understand. It was beautiful. She was so embarrassed. She said she learned it from her best friend, May Lin.

Oh I forgot to say how much of an impact May Lin made!!! May Lin is/was a Chinese and Japanese girl. Her dad's Japanese, her mom's Chinese. She spells her name May instead of Mei because people pronounced it wrong. I met May Lin, she and Annabelle and I hung out a lot. May Lin was the only other Asian girl in the school if you counted Annabelle as Asian. They were only in the same class for one year, but They were still really great friends. May Lin was also pretty small for her age. I think she still is, though not as tiny as Annabelle. May Lin is the one who actually got Annabelle interested in Asian stuff! I think May Lin is one of the biggest reasons Annabelle didn't give up her battle with heart issues. Those two were the best of friends. I'm so glad Annabelle had May Lin.

Anyways, Annabelle trudged on through her middle years, saying in the hospital once in a while. She really wanted to be a regular girl. More than anything! She would come to all of my soccer games and tell me how great I was, and how she wished she could play. She wanted to play tennis, do crosscountry, do some martial arts (her mom put her in a self defense class when she was little), and she wanted to be able to live freely. Sadly, she never really got much of a chance. Even though she stayed in the hospital and missed school often, she always kept up with her grades. She even got to go into advanced classes.

♥ The last years ♥

Annabelle started to get sicker, faster. She needed surgery. Only one problem: insurance wouldn't cover it, for some really lame reason. If she had gotten the surgery sooner, it's possible she would have stood more of a chance, although it really didn't matter much in the longrun. Anyways, Annabelle's biggest hobby became schoolwork, and learning new things. If she couldn't be out playing, she could learn things. She decided to learn Japanese, because the culture fascinated her and she wanted to be able to converse with May Lin's family. She worked so hard at that. And she studied math. She loved math! Factoring equations was her favorite. And besides schoolwork, she loved to draw. Drawing was something she could do easily. That's why she came here, I think, to draw, and to have some friends.

The time came when Annabelle had her heart surgery. Things seemed okay; they were going to close up some holes in her heart and replace a valve. But something odd happened, and at an awkward point in the operation, it was time for Annabelle to be closed up. Leaving her heart exposed for too long would damage it. But it was a critical point in the surgery! If they closed her up right then, she would automatically die. So, they risked it, and left her open to operate on her longer than she could take. It really wasn't the doctors' faults. They tried so hard. They were noble about it, too. But she suffered irreversible damage from the surgery. She was put on the list for a transplant, but she passed away before she could get one.

The last time I saw her was only about a month ago. Three days (or was it four? or five?) before her death, I went with my mom and sister to visit her in the hospital. My mom went in with my sister, then I got to go in and see her. She was laying there, covered in wires and tubes and beeping machines. She looked so tiny there in that bed. She had lost way more weight, which was bad. She was already super underweight. When she died, she only weighed about 40 pounds. Yes, that's right, at age 14, she was barely 4 feet tall and weighed about 40 pounds. Did she ever tell you that? She may have fudged it a little, making herself seem bigger than she really was, because really....it's unbelievable. But anyways, so I saw her there. She looked at me and said, "Amanda! Amanda I miss you. You are one of my best friends." It was so sweet. She told me what to do. She said, "Let's face it; I'm not going to live much longer. Remember that journal I gave you? When I pass, I want you to let my friends listed in there know. And if anything is to go wrong, just close the account." She was talking about here. dA.

♥ her last words ♥

This is depressing. Oh, gosh, here come the tears. I wasn't there to hear her say them, but when Annabelle was entering her final moments, she was telling her mom how all she wanted was to be a regular girl, and how she was gonna try really hard to get better. She wanted to be a regular girl. And she never got the chance. Oh man I am crying now. I need a moment......

.....okay. Okay. That's all for right now. I might add some hapy memories later. But now I need to stop making myself upset. I just can't believe she is gone. She was the sweetest little girl, she was going to change the world. Now that she is gone, it's like I see the world in black and white; no more technicolor. I miss her. So much. And she deserves respect. If you don't have anything nice to say, please, don't say it. Thanks, to Annabelle's friends, SO much for being there for her. She looked up to you guys so much! And according to her journal she especially loved: frootloopsyumyum, princess-peachie, pichuka, xuite, hiddenangelz, strawberrymewgal/raevnaluv, tornandgluedtogehter, purplecow48, and many, many others. If you aren;t metioned here, don't be upset. She has lots of friends in here. I just listed the first ones because I need to go to bed now. Bye, people. Thanks, so much, again, for being so nice to my best friend, my dear cousin, Annabelle.

~Amanda